6 Reasons Why You Never Look Good In Photos
“I never look good in photos.”
“I hate the way I look in selfies.”
“I’m just not photogenic.”
Do any of these statements resonate with you? If so, you aren’t alone. As someone who has photographed 1000+ diverse bodies in the last 5 years, I can tell you that 99% of them have said similar things.
When I noticed that such a large group of people felt the same way, I started to collect data on the images that people had the hardest time appreciating, in addition to studying the psychology behind body image and I realized that there were 6 main reasons why people think they look terrible in photos.
We have spent our whole lives staring at a reflection of ourselves - so, when we are faced with the reverse of our reflections it can shock us a little bit.
The brain works on recognition for efficiency, so when we see something one way for most of our life it becomes predictable and comfortable - when that thing changes, however, it makes the brain confused for a hot second.
Unless you purposefully flip your photos (or have a phone that will do it automatically!), you will be presented with the image that everyone else sees, but not you and not your brain which is why it can be shocking. I see this happen most frequently with face forward images.
Because the majority of us are not symmetrical in our facial attributes, when we flip our images we can look very different - the keyword here is DIFFERENT - not bad, just different. The reality is, to other people that is how you’ve always looked and that is the version of you they love.
In that same vein, you don’t get to see what other people see. What I mean by this, is that you rarely get to see yourself being expressive.
We tend to see ourselves as very one-dimensional and therefore, you don’t see yourself in a moment of pleasure or passionately talking about something that lights you up and you probably never have the joy of seeing yourself mid-belly laugh while you share an inside joke with your bestie.
So, when we see ourselves in images showcasing emotion it can be uncomfortable. This reaction is usually emphasized if you have any shame around labels like being too sexy, too excited, etc.
Similarly, you may feel a disconnection from the way you are being portrayed in images. As a boudoir photographer and someone who is asexual, I always found it difficult to appreciate images of myself looking overtly sexy. I kept trying to have photos taken to see the version of sexy that most people expect - not so surprisingly, it felt forced and performative.
Once I leaned into my identity, I was able to ask for images that resonated with how I wanted to be seen. I encourage you to ask questions about images you have a hard time accepting by asking “What specifically am I struggling to accept?” and get curious. If we get judgemental about ourselves in photos, we can’t dig deeper to understand the larger context - but if we can adopt a spirit of curiosity then it removes any shame and allows us to explore and appreciate our photos from a different perspective.
When we see our bodies in images, it is our mind that is playing tricks - we tend to hyperfocus on certain parts of our faces or bodies. Every time a client told me that she disliked her stomach or hated her nose before the shoot, I could predict which photos she would have a hard time with.
Whenever you look at photos of yourself, whether it be professional or candid shots, your eyes will probably go immediately to the part(s) of yourself that you are the most insecure about. This is also heightened if you view your photos while in a bad mood.
By focusing on a small part of yourself you are missing out on the context of the whole image: how you felt, who you were with, what you were wearing, etc.
And a big part of that has to do with the fact that we put unrealistic expectations on photography. Photography was not created for beauty standards, perfection, or what we desire to look like - it simply is there to document a moment in time.
And that moment is literally a fraction of a second, yet we let those seconds create big narratives that can prevent us from being present, and by deeming only certain photos acceptable and worthy, we create a lot of pressure on how we look in real life.
As humans, we have unlimited angles, but beauty standards have deemed some angles more worthy than others and that clouds our vision as to what creates an “acceptable” photograph.
I am certain you’ve had the experience of turning your phone camera on while it was aimed up at your face and quickly moved the camera to slightly above eye level and angled it down to thin out your face - we have been taught that appearing smaller is better and appearing bigger is bad.
But this isn’t the case - all angles are worthy because YOU are worthy.
We have been conditioned to believe that all of our confidence comes from our appearance, so it’s no surprise that we put so much expectation on how we look in photos, but it has prevented us from creating a photographic legacy.
Our bodies are biological organisms that will constantly change, grow, and break down - so what do you think happens to our confidence when this occurs? I want to encourage you to have confidence within yourself and take all the photos of all the moments and embrace the fact that each photo is just documentation of your life. No one image is better than another - they are simply just different moments of your glorious existence.
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Teri Hofford is a body image & mindset educator, empowerment photographer, and author of the best-selling book The Geode Theory: Chipping Away At Body Image. She resides in Winnipeg, Manitoba, where she helps humans shift their focus from changing their bodies to changing the world.